everyday I awake…

 

everyday i awake

Everyday I awake.

Some days filled with purpose, with burning ambition: the nuclear fuel that explodes my day and zings everybody out of the orbit.

Days when there is a spring below my tread and a smile on my lips.

When I feel invincible.

When I feel lucky.

When I believe I’m beautiful.

BEAUTIFUL

today i am powerful

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I know I can swing a deal. That I am powerful.

When who I am is a knowledge… an actual physical entity that I can feel filling me up. Emboldening every lilt of my hips and toss of my head. Coating every word that I utter. I can feel myself glow from within. Like I have a secret that is so thrilling and life-changing yet forbidden, all at the same time.

 

There are other days though when I wake and do the next thing.

Then the next… and then the one after.

When everything seems vanilla.

Just vanilla.

 

When after awhile I pause, to realize I have no idea why I’m doing what I’m doing. Not why it has to be done necessarily. But WHY I (in specific) HAVE TO DO IT.

When even the motes in the air seem suspended in their stupor.

When all that you see is more of the same stretching in front of you.

 

Everyday I awake.

It’s a gift.

It is… it really is, isn’t it?

 

I see the uncertainty around me.

People who set out each day, ne’er to return.

Or those who return who are changed beyond measure.

 

Everyday I awake.

 

Everyday is different.

A new chance to do something. An opportunity to create. To make a mark. To start a smile. To lend a hand. make your mark

 

A gift.

A renewed sense of being should permeate me everyday.

 

So when I feel the now-familiar cloak of disinterest, irrelevance and disenchantment waiting to cloak me again, I decide to revolt. I refuse to give into the feeling of ennui.

I refuse to take its burden.

I refuse to let it take me.

 

Vanilla?? My life is going to have every flavour, every scent, every texture that I can imbue it with.

Today I awake. Today is special. A gift. A reaffirmation.

dawn-portrait-of-sun

Today is all I have. And I am going to enjoy it.

 

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